Spooky's Jump Scare M- OH LOOK IT'S BILL CIPHER
by Great Pikmin Fan
Summary: Part of the "SBIG" series and the second-to-last installment. A short, intentionally poorly-written joke crossover with "Spooky's Jump Scare Mansion." Dipper, Mabel, and Pacifica get trapped in Spooky's mansion and must get out. Meanwhile, Bill and .GIFfany harass them. Now complete.
1. Northwest Mansion Enema

**Spooky's Jump Scare M- OH LOOK IT'S BILL CIPHER**

 **Chapter 1: Northwest Mansion Enema**

 **Beginning AN:**

So I had the idea for a while but I started it because of a dream I had the night before starting it. That kind of involved _Spooky's_ but also a bit of this fan fic too.

...Which I think makes that as the first time in a long time that I've had a dream about a fan work (or, in this case, a fan work idea, since it wasn't made yet) and remembered some of it. But it was something pretty simple.

Right, so this will only have five chapters total, so it'll be one of the shorter projects. Like _Gumball Vs Satan_.

 **Welcome to SBIG!** This is a series of purposefully badly done stories that care very little with making sense or trying to add any emotional impact. Or... that's the intent. This is sort of like a bad attempt at comedy. Now, two things I try to avoid with this when comparing the installments to other fics done bad on purpose. One is making them unreadable (but this... admittedly wasn't always a major focus of mine). Two is that this isn't going to get... too disgusting. Well, it might in some stories, but it won't rely on grossout factors as an entertainment value, and even the ones that do teeter into uncomfortable territory won't be trying to really 'outdo' other fics that do this. The only thing I try to trump myself in is the plot's stupidity. Not how hard it is to read it, and not how disgusted (or infuriated for that matter) you will be by it.

* * *

PReston Northwest was a jackass. He was ringing a bell and telling his daughter Pacifica, "I'm afriad that this dress is not good for the party."

But then suddenly there was shaking! He looked out the window and saw a strange house on the hill (it didn't start in Gravity Falls as said later, this is just a reference to the house locations) that had robo-legs and robo-arms, and was coming towards the Northwest house! Then, on the TV, there was a screen of Spooky.

"Hello. I am Spooky. The time to wait for investigators has ended. I must add an artifact from Gravity Falls to my collection of horror. After all, I heard of this all the way from Wisconsin, and I _must_ have at least one haunted artifact."

"Go away." Preston said like a jackass.

"There's a ghost in your house that hates you."

"Hoo boy! A ghost?" He was shocked.

"Yes. One... that has a grudge on you. And for the record, I am not talking about myself. I have no feelings to such a feeble mind as yourself."

"We need a ghostbuster. But who... that Dipper kid who fought a vampire bat."

I'm gonna skip all the uninteresting stuff since you've seen it in canon. Instead, here's a new theme song I think that'll make GF more hip. Dipper rapped:

 _Now this is the story all about how,_  
 _My life got twisted upside-down._  
 _And I'd only take a minute, don't leave at all._  
 _I'll tell you why I'm in the small town of Gravity Falls._

 _In Piedmont, CA, born and raised,_  
 _The house is just where I spent most of my days._  
 _Chillin' all relaxin' all cool and all reading up paranormals outside of the school._  
 _When a coupla guys who were up rto no good! Starting making trouble in the neighborhood!_  
 _I got in one li'l fight and my mom got scared, she siad_  
 _"You're moving with your great uncle to get some fresh air!"_

Anyway that was Dipper's intro. he also got Mabel along with him, and Pacifica felt like doing something major or something, I don't really know I just want all three of them to confront Spooky's Jumpscare house.

* * *

Inside was... well, not very spooky. Althought that ghost from before appeared.

"Hello there, three victims to horrible agonizing pain!" She cheered. "I am Spooky. Welcome to this house of **DEATH!** "

Dipper laughed because she looked like this cartoony little girl ghost.

"You laugh, but that is what angers me! I want to be taken seriously! I am a threat! Go forth and see! CCan you make it through all 1000 rooms without shitting yourselves in fear?"

So uh, they did. They went on foreward through the house, and just got jumpscare pop-outs made out cartboard.

"Aw, it's cute!" Said Mabel. "Why did we go through this again?"

"Preston promised to pay me two thousand bucks, a swimming pool plated with gold, a statue made of diamond, and a horse."

"What are you doing to do with the horse?"

"Hey, you have a pig. Anyway, also Pacifica is kind of cute- OH NO DID I REALLY SAY THAT?"

Mabel thought that this suspicious place confirmed to be haunted with an evil ghost would be the perfect place to play matchmaker, so she thinks this will be a good time for cute Dipifica moments.

Because she's fucking weird. I think she does drugs.

"Okay, I've got to set them up and confress that they really like eachother!" Cheered Mabel. "Hrm..."

But then the time to laugh at cardboard cutouts was over! REAL horrors started happening! Enter Speciment 2, the... zombie? I don't know. It spat out some kind of slow-goop, but the trio ran away and was panting and exhausted, making it to the next door.

"Okay, that thing looked like it could actually kill us." Said Dipper. "I guess we need to actually be careful. It was slow, but there might be something fast."

Suddenly, Specimen 3! The faster spider was crawling after them!

"DID WE BRING A WEAPON?" Asked Dipper.

Mabel looked inside her sweater and only found collone for Dipper to make it so that he doesn't smell like sweeat on their date.

"NO WE DIDN'T!"

"then why?" He shouted at the top of his lungs.

"BECAUSE... um, I know karate!"

She kicked Specimen 3 and it just scurred back.

* * *

So Mabel was feeling guilty as they kept going on, occasionally Specimen 1 would pop up and actually startled Dipper some times, but Mabel kept laughing and PAcifica was just getting annoyed. Specimne 2 and 3 would still go after them as well. Eventually, they came to a school-looking place.

Okay, let's back up a little bit and go outside of the mansion for a while.

In the arcade, there were these Bill culists. Because of symbolism, they were kind of dressed like the blind eyes, but the opposite. This means they wore green instead of red, has eyes that were not crossed out but circled (making it look like they had more rings of eyes or something like that, it just looked weird instead of cool like the blind eyes), and instead of robes that covered everything but their faces and hands they only wore gloves and a mask and nothing else.

"OMLEDUE FROMAJE! OMLEDUE FROMAJE! OMLEDUE FROMAJE!" They chanted. I got the chant from _Dexter_ I have no idea what it means.

Anyway, they ended up summoning Bill. But he was on a couch watching a crystal ball that showed some guy drawing graphs. Bill was really into that for some reason but they he turned around noticed the cultists and covered the screen. (Gettig Carp Past the Radar!)

"AH!" He shouted. "I WAS... UMM..." He grabbed his hat and used it like a remote and an antenna, which switched the channels to some shitty reality TV. Kim Kardashan and Tony Hawk in a skating competition.

"OH GREAT BILLIS CIPHERIS!" Shouted the leader of the culists. "WE WANT YOU TO BE WORSHIPPED BY US!"

"Well uh... I appreciate that but... you're naked and weird. And I'm technically one third naked fai- nevermind. Well, anyway, now that I'm here anyway, I might as well go over and mess with Pine Tree and ShootingStar's dreams again. Oh wait... I can smell them... right now, for some reason, they've in some weird haunted house that apparently you can't escape from. Anyway, bye, this sounds interestng."

He floated away. The cultists woke up and had no idea what to think of this.

"Shit." The leader said. "I have no idea what to think of this."

Meanwhile, the electrcity involved was sent to the Arcade and in fight Fighters... which was bringing .GIFfany out and she found that she could go through elecrtronics now!

"HA ha, Rumble, I will be leaving you to see new sights!"

":(" Rumble replied.

"But... I feel like I only have **24 hourse** before this wears off, and I will be stuck in whatever electronic I am in forever. First... those stupid kids ruined my relationship with Soos. I feel like getting back at them anyway. I can sense where they are - I dreamed about a triangle following them, and I can sense the trail. I am going after them!"

"Who are you?" A cultist asked .GIFfany.

"Not important to your life. And you are not important to my life!"

* * *

Inside the manor, on a television screen .GIFfany appeared, and she saw Specimen 4 first. For fanservice, Specimen 4 was in that concept art image where she went after the player nude isntead of in those ghost robes.

"Hey." .GIFfany said. "Psst. Naked ghost lady. Could I maybe... do some Grudge stuff to get in your body?" There sure are a lot of naked characters in this story, aren't there?

 **"I FEAST HUMAN CHILDREN AND SHIT OUT THEIR HAPPYNESS!"** Specimen 4 said, showing that these monsters are way edgier than the Gravity Falls monster.s (not until I fan fic-ize them... yeah, no rating restrictions here! Except I want this to be T.)

"I will take that as a yes. Oh yeah, and for some reason, my coding cannot get out of this house. Some times I feel like I hit an invisible wall. Other times it is like I just get teleported to another place. And this ghost girl keeps laughing at me... she says this is an endless maze for souls..."

She jumped in to Specimen 4 and kinda leeched off some of her ghostyness or whatever, which resulted in .GIFfany getting this kind of temporary physical form from her. Temporary. Maybe she'll get a permanent one later.

"Thank you."

 **"I MUST FEAST!"** Specimen 4 replied.

Anyway, around the corner Dipper asked "DID YOU HEAR THAT?"

"Yeah, duh." Said Mabel.

Also, they heard Bill coughing too. Just after that. They found him and everything WASN'T gray!

"WHAT?" Bill asked. "I suddenly became physical, but I have VERY LITTLE POWERS and I can't get out of this stupd house! How come your scent can get out but not my MEGA POOWER? Oh wait I was smelling a trail you were constantly leaving before you actually went INSIDE, nevermind, plot hole averted!"

"Hi there tiny enemies!" .GIFfany cheered. She was there too!o "Prepare for a revenge!"

"So Bill, I knew you made this house!" Dipper accused. "And that ghost girl was just a lie!"

"WHAT? NO I DIDN'T! I'M **TRAPPED** HERE! YOU KNOW THERE'S OTHER SUPERNATURALS BECIDES ME AND I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING! LIKE THOSE OVER THRE!"

He pointed to .GIFfany and Specimen 4. .GIFfany waved, but punched out Spec 4.

"So... don't tell me we have to _work together_ to get out of here..." said Dipper with a gulp.

"YEAH THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN!" Cheered Mabel. "WORKING WITH BILL!"

Also shoot. this fic just became that thing where the first chapter is basically just the summary... uh, promise there'll be more on the next chapters! Including plot twists!

* * *

 **Closing AN:**

I kind of rushed this just to get one little extra thing out before the end of the year... and to keep 2016 as the sort-of "Year of .GIFfany" along the same lines as the "Year of Luigi" and "Year of Yoshi." Since... this was the year that I did the bulk of and concluded _run:gifocalypse_ , with the first two chapters being the only ones to come out prior.

I guess this also means that, because of my own sort-of rules, I kind of pushed _Housestuck: The Split_ to a 2017 release instead of possibly procrastinating it for 2018... hrm...


	2. Wrong Time for Shipping

**Spooky's Jump Scare M- OH LOOK IT'S BILL CIPHER**

 **Chapter 2: Wrong Time for Shipping**

 **Beginning AN:**

...I think at this point I've kind of figured out that, when it comes to _SBIG_ (and to a lesser extent, some of my serious works - Arc 2 is my least favorite of the three arcs in _run:gifocalypse_ (although I still kind of like chapter 9)), I suck at writing the middles of stories. Between me being trapped with how to write this yet having a good enough idea for the finale, to me being stuck on _naruto the guy with the ninja_ 's third chapter... I _really_ shouldn't plan for the cool stuff in the beginning and the cool stuff at the end without trying to have at least some point of overlap in the middle. The better option is to give the middle its own cool stuff. Uh... but as it stands, this chapter and chapter 3 of _guy with the ninja_ fall in some kind of awkward 'in-between' considering my definite plans from the first chapter(s in the case of ntgwtn) of this and what's going to happen a bit later.

Just think of this chapter as, say, a continuation of the introduction of the specimen?

* * *

Okay, so that's the roster so far.

Specimens 1 all over the place. Now there was 4, except to make things interesting, 2 and 3 were also around.

Anyway, Spooky phased in to the room if she wasn't already there and laughed.

"Take on my horrors if you dare and try to find Room 1000!"

"What room are we on now?" Dipper asked.

"166."

"FUCK!"

"You might team up with this 'Bill' guy, but I want to hunt you myself!" .GIFfany cheered establically.

Spooky left after that, just kind of leaving the Specimens to go nuts and attack the kids (and maybe the two Gravity Falls supernaturals as well). Dipper, Mabel, and Pacifica all ended up hiding away in some place. But Bill didn't quite like this as they were also indirectly running away from him.

"HEY, WAIT!" He shouted. "WHAT HAPPENED TO TEAMING UP WITH ME OUT OF DESPERATION? OR WHATEVEER YOU WERE TRYING TO DO!? DAMMIT!"

* * *

So in this hidden side area, the trio had to debate what to do with the specimen.

"I don't know." Said Dipper. "J3 is giving no information on them at all. I don't know their weakness."

"Well, maybe we can't focus on fighting them but focus on something else..." Mabel said in a teasing matchmaker way.

"Something else?" Asked Dipper. "What could be more important than OUR LIVES?"

"Well jeez, when you put it THAT way... anyway, I in secret" PS for context Pacifica was currently trying to fight back against Specimen 2 with a stick. "I think you and Pacifica should get a little... closer if you know what I mean. This means that you're not going to not really have me around!"

"What-"

"Don't worry! I'll distract Bill and Giffany!" She doesn't know how to spell her name. "I know them so you and Pacifica can both fight off the speciemns... _together_ if you know what I mean."

So Mabel went over to Bill and-

"WHAT?" Bill asked.

"Jesus, you don't get angry often!" Said Mabel. Oh wait, do they believe in Jesus? They say fancy religious-sounding stuff so I'm assuming they're Jesusians.

"You mostly know me when my plans are going right! THEY'RE NOT HERE! I'M STUCK IN THIS DUMP WHEN ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS SCARE YOU A LITTLE MORE AND TRICK YOU INTO HELPING ME START THE APOCALYPSE!"

"Oh, that's your plan?" asked Dipper. "I thought it would be something more complicated and morally ambiguous."

"Nope. I just want to take over the world like a lot of other badguys."

"...You're a disappointing villain now that I actually know something about you and you're not a mysterious blank slate that I can make things up for! I'm done with your villain arc! You ruined my headcanon that you were actually loke a triangle Robin Hood or something like that!"

"Dipper don't be a dick." Said Mabel. "Maybe he really is still a good person inside. It's on the inside that counts."

"Yeah okay, I'll focus on your cool aspects. Also, let's run to the next room-"

"You guys go on ahead, _alone together oooh!_ " Said Mabel. "I'll catch up, right now I gotta stop Bill and Giffany from coming closer!"

"My name is spelt .GIFfany!" Shouted .GIFFany. See, this is meta humor. It automatically makes your story a lot smarter. See: _Homestuck_ Act 6 and _Five Nights at Freddy's World_.

* * *

Anyway, now Dipper and Pacifica were alone and they've already made it to the next big floor. Some... cult room.

Oh shit it's Specimen 5! Silent Hill... maniquent... thingy!

"I'M GOING TO SLICE YOU KNOW!" She said. Wait. Can #5 even talk? Uh... let's say it can. I HAVE been giving people words, after all. "SO DIE!"

Anyway, she had this giant sword thing and tried to use it to hack at Dipper and Pacifica. Both of them screamed of course.

"You know what would make this more balanced?" Dipper said. "If we also had a sword, then at least it could be a sword fight-"

But then Pacifica reached under her dress and took out one of those fencing swors. You know, like those "OLAY" ones. She fenced with Specimen 5 a little bit.

"WOW!" Said Dipper. "YOU CAN FENCE?"

"My parents made it take is as a self-defense class. I really just wanted the cclass where I go 'THAT'S MY PURSE' and kick them in the groin, but they didn't let me. They control me too much with a bell. It's like _Paper Mario Thousand Year Door_ where the bell turns people ito pigs, but completely not like that game. Because I'm not a pig right now."

"Okay."

Thanks to Pacifica's sudden fencing powers, they were able to escape from 5 and ended up in a room that looked like _Zelda_ for the 64. There were a lot of creepy masks and stuff, and before it gets flooded in the comments yes I know about the Let's Play Mask thingy like Cry or whatever. At the end was the Happy Mask Sal- Specimen 6. Both of them stared at it.

"So... what do we do?" Dipper asked.

"I think we shouldn't move."

"Let's keep an eye on it. Even alternating who blinks."

Pacifica turned away right when Dipper would have blinked to say, "that's dumb it's not like it can only move when we're not looking at him-"

BUT THAT WAS THE CASE! The Specimen 6 zipped so much closer to them!

"you shouldn't have done that." He said.

Dipper actually kind of got pissed off, of all things. He rolled his eyes.

" _Ben Drowned_ was years ago! It's old and finished I think! Can we have something _Major'as Mask_ without cramming blood Mc. Creepypasta in it? I mean, it's not _bad_ , but it's overused! Kind of like how... just, overuse of Slenderman and stuff! Urgh, I swear, if I ever seee that guy I'll kick him in his Slender- _junk_!"

Specimen 6 actually frowned.

"Jeez, okay, I'll look for some other gimmick..." and then went away, leaving Dipper and Pacifica to go on deeper.

"Alright." Dipper said. "Just a little more to go..."

"Hell, this is scary!" Said Pacifica. "Why am I going through this again? And where's Mabel at least, she could make things better."

* * *

Mabelw as currently getting her ass chased by Bill firing lasers at her. Big lasers.

"Why are you trying to kill me?" She said. "You shuold fight Spooky instead!"

"BECAUSE SPOOKY'S ALREADY DEAD AND I'M NOT A GOOD AT KILLING GHOSTS! I'M TAKING OUT MY FRUSTATION OUT ON YOU! DIE YOU... UH... FOR STANDING THERE! AND FOR KIND OF TRICKING ME INTO BEING TRAPPED IN THIS HELLHGOLLE!"

Mabel eventually managed to hide out behind some armor statues or whatever (I know they're not in the game, I'm just taking creative liberaties). Thank goodness, avoiding Bill's flat ass. (Does he even have an ass? Nevermind that's a bad question I'm just gonna stop thinking about it right now.)

"COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE- oh fuck it, i'll just fire lasers at random things until they're destroyed. It'll at least keep me from becoming bored." Said Bill, as he did just that. "It's not like killing you will change that I'm stuck here."

Mabel looked over and found Spooky right next to her, rubbing her chin in thought.

"What are you thinking about?" Mabel asked.

"I'm thinking of telling him that killing you will let him go, and then rigging the house so that it can."

"OH NO!"

"What? I'm just as much of a villain as he is!"

"HEY!" SPOOKY SHOUTED OUT. 'hey bill1'

"WHAT?" Bill asked, again annoyed like always. Especially as this little devil (because of her personality, not to be racist against ghosts) was the reason that he was stuck in the first place.

"If you kill Mabel I'll let you out."

Mabel was pretty pissed off at that.

"Oh! I can tell you're also want to leave. So, I'll make a deal. If you can kill Bill, I'll let you out on the hill! ...I tried to force a rhyme. Never again."

Mabel nodded...

But then realized that this would be a tough challenge! How do you even fight that dream demon thingy?

* * *

Meanwhile, Specimen 7, the Wall fo Flesh (not to be confused with the Teerraria boss, I like _Terraria_ by the way so maybe THAT will show up too...?) was chasing after Dipper and Macifica.

" _ **THIS**_ is what all that psychology stuff was leading to!?" Asked Dipper, shivering.

"I don't know!" Shouted Pacifica.

Anyway, for those that don't know, there was a lot of this red skeletal flesh stuff coming after them. I think there's some hallucination stuff implied here but... uh... The "psychology stuff" Dipper talked about what was that some kind of cat thing tells you things before you lead up to it.

So then they closed the door but then heard a hiss, and like all the other specimens were there!

Oh yeah. Let's speed things up. They were 'outside' now. And this was, like, some _Over the Garden Wall_ shit going on. Maybe I should write a crossover between that and _Gravity Falls_ instead... nah, that doesn't make any sense, they don't have enough in common. But this game _Spooky's Jump Scare Mansion_ does with _Gravity Falls_ , so I'm doing that crossover.

This locationplace was a brightly-lit forest and there was this static starting to fill the place. The twins heard a voice of sorts.

"(Black speech gibberish) Comejoin usthe hivemind comejoin usthe hivemind BE CONSUMED BY MY WOOD!"

It was Specimen 8! A giant deer Wendigo thing! When Dipper saw it, he insctinctively knew this must be a Wendigo, but then he thought of Wendy because of the similar names and get nervousl and flustered because of his crush and Pacifica was like "NOW'S NOT THE TIME TO BLUSH!" And grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away from the Specimens.

Pacifica tried karate chopping the Specimens but since even an axe can't harm them in the game, this did very little. Dipper was barely able to avoid Spec 7 reaching around the walls and forming the flesh stuff and reaching out while the skelton things were like "WE'RE DEMONS FROM HELLLLL!" and then they got off the path and deep in to the woods.

"Okay... this is not fun." Said Dipper. "This is not fun at all. How do we make this easier? Hrm... do any of these things have any weaknesses? No wait, Mabel would be good at finding them out. Maybe. Where the heck is she?"

* * *

Mabel had actualyl gotten away from Bill and was now goofing off with .GIFfany. The two of them were enjoying tea together.

"I one day hope to get back with Soos!" She said with hearts in her eyes. Hrm... literal organic hearts in the eyes... that would make a good horror movie monster. BUT it doesn't fit .GIFfany, so NO. "Say, are the endless modes in this?"

Actually they shouldn't be. That would make the story too complicated. Same with Katana Hostital. SO ANYWAY...

"Hey." Specimen 2 tapped .GIFfany on the shoulder and asked. "Are you gonna eat that?"

"Um... no, I don't eat people."

"Oh. Bummer. You don't smell nice, either. You don't smell human. Well, can I eat that girl there? She looks tasty."

.GIFfany shrugged. "Eh, sure, I don't like her anyway."

"WHAT?" Asked Mabel.

"What did you expect? I can be a not-nice person."

* * *

So the next stop was this other lab. And yeah, we'r siipping Specimen 9 right now.

"Alright. So look for any bleeding walls. That's a sign of Specimen 7." Said PAcifica. We're not following the rules of the game - Specimens 7 and 13 can attack whenever the hell they want to. "Noises are the calls of the other Specimen, aand then there's 1 that we don't have to worry about except try not to get heart attacks. 1 has been looking different, so-"

"Pacifica do you ever think I'll even find love?"

"Oh. Right. No offense but puberty kind of hit you like a thousand bricks, but in some aspects like your height and your body hair it did not. So of course you're talking about that stuff a lot."

Dipper did not want to tell Pacifica that Mabel actually had more chest hair that he did and has to shave off shitloads every day so that she doesn't have it sticking from under her sweaters and lookinglike King Kong (or worse, Donkey Expand Kong), but that is true and kind of embarassing. And then there's Dipper's sweating while Mabel was too cold (hence the SWEATERS in SUMMER)... yeah they really are opposits.

Also, Dipper frowned because he doesn't like being short, he imagines being taller.

So annyway, Specimen 10 popped out! Some large... worm... snake... thing!

Dipper and Pacifica screamed! And kind of lept in to each other, but it wasn't in the romantic arms thing, they snacked the sides of their faces to each other like Shaggy and Scooby Doo, but then they jumped back (from having not being in arms... yeah dont' think about it too much) and were like "We're not a couple..."

But then no, the ACTUAL Specimen 10 jumped out of the worm thing's head and was like some kind of alien parasite thing that looked slightly humanoid. Dipper and Pacifica screamed again...

And then _again_ when it turned into its smaller, chasing form!

"Okay the scream thing is getting old." Said Dipper wisely."

They both shut some kind of metal door on it. But therin lies a problem: now they were stuck in some containment room and if they open the door, 10 will get them! Fuck!

Specimen 10 was hissing a lot. Also, Specimen 3 was crawling around the windows and writing "YOU'LL FUCKING DIE HERE!"" in spider web to taunt them. what a jerk! So Pacifica wrote back "WELL FUCK YOU!"

"Surprise Motherfucker." It was Specimen 4! She was emerging from the walls, and Specimen 10 was slowly knocking at the door! Dipper and Pacifica were now stuck! And if they didn't unstuck themselves they'll die!

Dun dun dun cliffhanger time!

* * *

Let's finished off the chapter with Mabel, .GIFfany, and Bill I guess. Bill had just found out Mabel and was trying to laser blast her.

"ARGH! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Shouted Bill. "SO THAT I CAN FINALLY LEAVE THIS PLACE!"

Mabel kept running down a hall while Specimen 2 kept asking Bill "So _you're_ gonna eat that? Okay. Yeah, sure, eat that I guess.""

Mabel was throwing random notes and skeletons of previous explorers at him, but to no avail! Eventually she came across a fork in the road, but quickly skipped a stone down one path so that it sounded like she was still walking. Bill ended up floating down there while Mabel sighed. He'll be dealing with specimen 9 soon enough.

Actually, screw 'soon,' let's do that right now! The walls began closing in on Bill.

"WHAT THE HECK IS THIS NOW?" He said. "YOU KNOW I CAN JUST SHRINK MYSELF TOO! THIS CAN'T CRUSH ME! Hrm... hold on... if I grow myself... would I be able to just bust out?"

Then he rushed over to Specimen 9, fish out and glowing with blue fire ready to charge! And then...

The chapter ended because this was a cliffhanger.

"Hey!" Said .GIFfany. "What about me?"

Yeah, okay, I should probably actually give her some sort of role in the storyline. Here we go:

.GIFfany was still sort of around the earlier rooms, kind of following behind Mabel. Actually ,no. She caught UP to Mabel. And slightly spooked her. But then spoke to her:

"Hey Mabel... I was thinking about... a few things."

"Sure, even though you attacked us twice, I can listen to you." Mabel said.

"Good. Because I have a mind-blower."

Okay maybe THAT'S the cliffhanger hang for this chapter!

* * *

 **Closing AN:**

Boy oh boy is this story in general being a bit of a mixed bag for me now... it's kind of funny how, normally, for "filler" fans absolutely hate it and want to go to the main plot. In this case, even I, the author, just kind of want to plow through this and get back to writing _Journals_. But hey, I could make this work. I managed to kind of turn around chapter 3 of _naruto the guy with the ninja_ from "Wait, what am I really doing here?" into something I ended up enjoying.

Anyway, I'm jumping to chapter 3 now for that exact reason! Getting that out of the way! By contrast, the other thing I had planned after I published another thing in my current "list" - _naruto the guy with the ninja_ , again, was to possibly "port" the _Kids Fit_ series over here. Which... I'll start tomorrow. Even though both of these are getting done on the same day, hopefully.

I know at the time I promised on my profile that ntgwtn will be the next _SBIG_ installment getting an update and that I did keep saying that in the past and _Gravity Falls_ reared itself. _Technically_ this did happen _yet again_ with this very fic, but _guy with the ninja_ is still coming out on the same day. So... will that make up for it?


	3. McDonalds

**Spooky's Jump Scare M- OH LOOK IT'S BILL CIPHER**

 **Chapter 3: McDonalds**

* * *

In case you forget where we last left off, Bill was about to fight Specimen 9, Dipper and Pacifica were trapped in a room by Specimen 10 and Specimen 4 was coming after them, and Mabel was speaking with .GIFFany.

Let's start with the least interesting of the three: Dipper abouting to die.

"Okay, we need to plan, fast!" Shouted Dipper to Pacifist.

"Really fast because I'm in the same damn room as you and I want to eat you." Said Specimen 4.

"Through the vents!" Pacifica cried and she went inside a vent that was there and Dipper was like "What? Oh..." and then followed. Spedimen 4 didn't seem to really care or chase after them faster. She put her hands to her hips and went "Well, I'm just gonna take my time and chase after you. A reminder that I can go through walls."

* * *

Pacifica and Dipper were metal Gearing through the vent and Pacifica snickered.

"Hey Dipper. Are you bnack there?"

"Yes."

"I wonder if Spooky didn't plan us to go in the vents like this. Did she? If she didn't ,it's kind of like we're breaking the way the house should go."

"These little 'areas' that we find the Specimen are all kind of their own things, so it's like this can only link to other areas in the same factory. I mean, the doors going from one building to another is already pretty weird."

The air vent thingy broke and Pacifica fell, Dipper was like "Hey how did you fall- AHHH!" because he didn't realize it at the time.

So anyway, they were in a new room with the exit right there...

"Hold it right there!"

It was 4 again! Crossing her arms being like "Really did you think it would be that easy?"

* * *

Meanwhile Bill actually successfully managed to punch Specimen 9 in the face and sent him flying foreward, breaking a lot of holes in the mansion. 9 Also just so happened to end up being flown right through where Dipper and Pacifica were. Bill floated through the hole he just broke and looked around.

"Okay... so Spooky, if I kill them can I also leave? Is that a thing?" He asked. "Or is it just Mabel? Please don't try to pull legal lawyer crap on me with exact words, I'm an expert on that."

"...Okay sure." Said Spooky. "Kill any of those kids to get out. Normally I would not like you for attacking a specimen like that, but were trying to get rid of 9 for, like, years now. He's really annoying and I hate him."

"baaaaaaa..." Said Specimen 9.

"SHUT UP!"

"No fuck you I'm gonna keep living here without rent no matter how much and how many attempts you make at destroying me. In exchange I otherwise act like a loyal fighter."

Spooky looked annoyed. "Well... making my problems kill each-other, like Bill and those kids, works with a lot of evil fun and weapon training, so why not also Through Spec 9 on the line? Kill him and I'll free you all. I guess."

"Oh cool!" Said Pacifica.

But then she also took Dipper's hand and they ran together off to a new spot, away from where Bill was throwing lasers.

The next area they landed in was like McDonalds. Of course, the title of this chapter should have given away in SOME way that McDonalds would be involved somehow.

"Welcome to McDonalds can I take your order?" Said a worker there.

"Um yeah." Dipper replied. "What's on the menu?"

"Well we just got a new arrival of McBoy and McGirl, which are sub-dishes of our McHuman."

"You sound like a cannibal."

"Dipper," said Pacifica, "Look closely."

It was actually Specimen 11! He just had a McDonalds hat on as a disguise! Pacifica swatted off the hat and then Dipper realized that it was a demon thing!

"Yeah I'm gonna have to butcher you right now."

He grabbed one of those meat cleavers but then went "Wait I don't need one of these I can just zip them to my Meat Dimension..." and just kind of lept over the counter to try chasing after the two.

They both went "AHHH!" but Pacifica was like "Wait a minute! I can use the meat cleaver against him!"

She kind of just slashed at him and it was a little like Star Wars and just actually any sword fighting scene. Then Pacifica went "Dipper get your ass over here and help me fight this meat demon!"

Dipper looked around for a while and saw one of those hooks that you could use to I guess put the giant things of meat up. He simply just grabbed Specimen 11 by the horns and kind of hung him up on that.

"HA!" Dipper shouted. "Got you!"

Specimen 11 got angry! He shouted, "YOU MAY HAVE THE SPIRIT OF MEAT, BUT CAN YOU CONTAIN... THE SPIRIT OF MCDONALDS?"

Then creepy clown music began playing.

"What the hell?" Asked Dipper.

"What the hell?" Asked Pacifica.

"What the fuck?" Asked Specimen 12, actually Spec 12 was the house so that guy trhat Specimen 12 was possessing stuck his head in to say that. Also, I guess it makes sense if the house of Specimen 12 itself said that too.

"Mwah ha ha ha ha!" Said 11, "I actually have a powerful force on my side that will surely completely fuck you over! Say hello to... CREEPYPASTA RONALD MC DONALD!"

A backwards version of the McDonalds theme (AN whatever that sounds like... (I'm not asking for the backwards version, I mean I'm even really sure what's the McDonalds theme it's just "I'm loving it" right?)) began playing, and suddenly shadows began to form from around everywhere. The guy Specimen 12 was possessing looked around and was really weirded out and all.

"I'll give you a 'happy meal' all right if you know what I mean..." Said a voice from the shadows.

"...Actually, I'll let you in on a secret." Said Speimen 11. "Creepypasta Ronald McDonald and I aren't exactly _friends._ He might even try to do something with me."

So then CRMD (I don't like typing out his full name every time I'll just call him that) stepped out and... he looked like Ronald, only black. I mean not in the racist way, like basically to Ronald what Dark Link is to Link. A shadow version. With red eyes.

"Hyuh hyuh hyuh! Hi kids!" CRMD said. "Prepare to d-d-die a delicious McDeath!"

"You'll get cursed if you say the name of that play." Said Dipper.

"No, that's MacBeth. Not McDeath."

Now he was cursed!

"Oh... clever plan Dipper." Said Pacifica. "You're actually cool now."

"What plan? I was just fact-checking."

"Oh then nevermind."

Specimen 9 knocked on the door (with his feet, he doesn't have hands in that form. Hey, it's not as dumb as him hitting his head on the door although since he's this red skull thing that would actually be kind of funny.)

"Hey bro I heard someone was cursed. The reality is that I can escape this building, and I do so to attack people that get cursed by saying MacBeth- aw shit."

He hit his head against the door several times going "Ow" each time. Oh wait, now he's hiting his head.

"Sorry, gotta not be a hypocrite and fulfull the cursing of myself. I also hate hypocrites. anyway, can I come in?"

"PLEASE!" Shouted Dipper.

Specim,en 9 did, but Pacifica got an idea.

"Hey wait a minute! You can leave... can you get us out of here?"

"Technically, but why the hell would I want to do that? Fun fact, I'm pretty much the only specimen that actually worships Spooky, even though she tried to kill me. Yeah... ironic, isn't it? Anyway, hey, dark clown guy. I'm here to fight you."

Then Creepypasta Ronald McDonald shot out BLOOS LASERS! or something. No wait, McBlood Lasesr! This had very little effect on Specimen 9.

"McGo Away." Said CRMD.

Specimen 9 just rushed over to CRMD but then CRMD just punched him in the face. 9 flew like really far back.

"OW! Okay, curse over."

"No!" Shouted Pacifica. "We should actually save him! Because he may be our key to getting out!"

"... _What_ really?" Asked Dipper. "He's a scary red skull mosnter!"

"Would you rather be stuck here forever?" She asked.

"Um, you guys could hang out in my place instead..." Said Specimen 11.

"FUCK YOU!" Pacifica shouted back.

"Also, we're already doing that." Added Dipper.

Specimen 11 was about to correct by going "The red maze is actually my pla-" But Pacifica was already in ass-kicking mode. It was a lot like her normal mode, except with more asswhoop involved. So she grabbed Specimen 11 and kicked him in the ass a few times, and then CRMD kicked him in the face. But Pacifica was ready to take on CRMD.

But then the ceiling broke and Mabel fell down there.

"AND THEN SUDDENLY MABEL!" She shouted. ...I kind of want this to be a running gag sort of like how Bender from _Futurama_ (AN that's a great show, **watch it** ) keeps saying "I'm back baby!"

"Mabel!" Dipper cried. "How did you get here?"

"Well, it's a funny story. You see, I was having a tea party or something with Giffany..." she still doesn't know how to spell her name...

* * *

 **(Flashback)**

So anyway, Mabel was just sort of trying to hang out and I think in the last chapter .GIFfany was offering some sort of truce? I don't know, I didn't look there.

"Maybe if _we_ work together or something... let's just do a deal-"

"So let's try to get out!" Said Mabel. "It's settled!"

Anyway, .GIFfany snapped her fingers and her index one sparked, then it kind of gave off this pink flame and looked like a blow torch. Even she looked a bit surprised at that.

"...I was just playing around. I had no idea I could do that.

"By the way," continued .GIFfany, "I want something in return."

"I think I already know what it is."

"I wanna have a four way with Soos, Rumble, and Soos's cute chubby girlfriend. I only hated her because Soos left me because of her, but if all three of them like me then there's no problem with that!"

"I was only one-third right. I thought you wanted to be back with Soos."

"...Wow. I thought you would have thought I would like to be with Rumble. I guess you had lower standards than I thought, but you thought I was thinking of higher standers."

"Okay. Well, I promise I could get that delivered SOMEHOW." Said Mabel, putting a hand to her chin as she thought of how. "I _AM_ factually a great matchmaker so that can help!"

.GIFfany laughed. "That was half of a joke suggestion, but if you really think you can do that then that is okay!"

" _You_ of al people don't mind an open relationship?"

"Motherfucker, only if _I'm_ in the center. I want a lot of people paying attention to **me!** and not have to compete with other people for their attention! AHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!"

"...Well you look cute, and the thought of you and Soos as a couple might look cute. And looking cute is all that matters to a relationship. At least, that's my logic and fan fiction logic. If you show me enough cute fanart then I'm immdiately swayed. You'll be my OT4."

And yes, **can** you think of any _Gravity Falls_ OT **4** s? I don't think so! Well, maybe if Stancest and McGucket and possiblt Soos were to all - OKAY THAT WAS A TERRIBLE MENTAL IMAGE I NEED BRAINBLEACH! My mind drifts towards pairings/threeairings/fourairings bathing together and that's... no.

Anyway, as to how Mabel ended up above McDonalds.

We see Mabel and .GIFfany crawling through the vents.

"Okay now I'll just try to cut this here." Said .GIFFany.

"Say," said Mabel, "Remind me why you can't just cut through the walls and get us out of there?"

"There's actually a sort of invisible wall around the place."

"Oh, right, got it."

So .GIFfany used some spark blowtorch thingy and carved a hole in the bottom of the vent. Around Mabel.

So that's how she fell in.

* * *

"Wait." Said Dipper. "Does that mean that .GIffany is-"

Then she fell down too. And her skirt flipped over and showed her white panties, which also because the skirt completely inverted and she landed on Dipper, were on Dipper right now (her ass was on Dipper) as she looked dizzy.

"FUDGE!" Dipper shouted.

"Well, now they can help us with Creepypasta Ronald McDonald."

"Wait wait wiat what?" Asked Mabel. "I thought Ronald was a good guy!"

" _He_ is. _I'm_ some edgy clone or evil brother something of him." CRMD shrugged. "I duno, my creator wasn't really clear on that and said that it was 'up to speculation' or something like that."

.GIFfany just zapped him with lightning.

"OW!"

"See?" She asked. "I can be a good ally! Now let me ju-"

Bill marched in to the room and CRMD was like "Oh god _now what?_ "

"SPECIMEN 9!" He shouted with a pointing finging. "WE STILL HAVE SOME UNFINISHED BUSINESS TO HANDLE WITH!"

"Hey I was just here for a curse there's too many peopl here and I like working alone." "By that I mean I don't even like working when other people who oppose me are around, which is kind of lazy-sounding if I put it that way... either way, I want to go back to Spooky now evne though she's trying to kill me. It's a complicated relationship, again. Let's do this solo, one against one."

"OH YOU FUCKING BET! ONE ON ONE FUCKER! LET'S DO THIS!"

So they both just walked out of the room. CRMD looked at Dipper, Mabel, Pacifica, and .GIFfany.

"So uh... I don't even know any more. I guess I'm gonna fight now? I don't really know who that red guy and that triangle guy were, but now they're gone so... uh... also, pink hair and sweater girl, should I fight you too two?"

"If you're gonna challenge my brother, then you'll have to challenge me!" Mabel offered.

.FIGfany shrugged. "It is not like I have anything else to do... sure! I want to join in."

So then let's put this chapter near its end, CRMD summoned the following because I want each of these people to sort-of taken them on one-on-one: The Hamburglar, Birdie the Bird, and that purple guy who showed up in an old Donald Trump commerical. But they were all black and red (I guess the purple guy was now also not purple anymore; ACTUALLY WAIT! Why the fuck aren't creepypasta using purple? That's also an evil color. I mean, look at the Corruption in _Terraria_ and evil biomes in _Dwarf Fortress_. So you know what? These guys are RED AND PURPLE. Throw some variety in there!) There's no fourth because CRMD himself is going to fight. In a way he's the forth. Or maybe he's the first and the others are the second, third... you get the idea.

"Okay that just looks silly." Said Specimen 11.

"SCREW YOU THEY HAVE BLOOD! AND THEY JUMP SCARE! AND IT'S A KIDS THING TURNED IN TO AN ADULT THING!" Shouted CRMND. "IT'S SCARY!"

"...'Adult thing' that's kind of what 12 year olds who play too much Call of Duty find scary. I think don't most adults would be scared at that. They're scared of things like losing their jobs."

"Oh yeah?" CRMD put his hands on his hips. "How many people work at McDonalds?"

"Well theiir signs say 99 billion so I'd assume that." Answered 11.

"And maybe this could be said to be inspired by nightmares of them being trapped in their jobs? Yeah, I'll trap these three kids and one adult and bake them in to burgers anfd stuff. Maybe I'll be powerful enough to break out of here just like that red asshole and sell them unknowingly as burgers and 'chicken.'"

"Hey!" Said Dipper. "I'm not a kid, I'm a man! Almost a teenager, at that!"

"...No you're not, kid. You really, really aren't. You're a boy, not a man."

"...Okay maybe I was pushing that a bit. I mjean, I am still 12 after all. We had an entire epsiode about that. And another one about me not growing up too fast, although then again that one comes MUCH later after right now so it didn't happen in this fic's world."

ANYWAY! So CRMD and his gang (crew? band? what are they called? just characters?) charged forth and started fighting! Dipper was in a slap fight with Birdie, while Mabel grabbed Purple Guy by the head and bashed on it. .GIFfany actually looked bored, she zapped Hamburgular and he was knocked out. Pacifica... just stabbed CRMD himself with the axe from Specimen 8 and that was over.

"Oh shit out leader is dead." Said Grimace. (THAT'S his name! Thank yuou, Wikipedia!)

"I'm not DEAD, I'm dyING!" said CRMD. "There's a difference! Anyway, would it make me sound more scary if I told you that these things were actually the tortured hell-souls when I murdered the original McDonalds crew, that's why they stopped showing up in adds and stuff and also why they're corrupted-looking but I'm corrupted-looking because I'm an evil hell beast?"

"...No." Said Dipper.

"WEll good because that's not the truth. But bad because I couldn't spook you with my awesome story. Now I'm dead now. Ack!" He said as his eyes became Xs.

"...Now what?" Asked Birdie, but Dipper just punched her in the face.

"Now we _leave._ " Dipper said. "We're so close!"

So they bolted off, but Birdie and Grimace both bolted off, with the forming shouting "After them!" but then both of them were grabbed on the shoulder by Specimen 11.

"Heh heh heh..." he said, "Remember those bad terms I was on with CRMD? Well, I'm assuming that his minions are weaker..."

Then they were both teleported to that red dimension thingy! And Specimen 11 was heard laughing...

* * *

So the McDonalds part was over, but now there's that thing you might find annoying in pretty much ass _SBIG_ stories after (or even during? I can't remember) _Hecksing Ulumate Crconikals_ where I link up this one fic to another. Here's the spooky linking thing: Dipper, Mabel, Pacifica, and .GIFfany eventually came across a giant monitor reading "REINCARNATION CURSE?" (yes, the question mark was part of the name) actually it was six monitors divided in to colors and it had a lot of buttons, mostly symbols - a lot of them zodiacs in different colors. However, there was also things like some green slimer and a blue atom, and this snowflake-arrangement of a green trio of swirls, a red flame, a blue snowflake (yeah snowflake within a snowflake), an orange yin-yang, and the purple and yellow Shadow and Light signs from _Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time_. In the middle was a light azure thing that looked like a simplified bullet. And arround all of that was a rainbow of buttons, like over three hundred in total in a circle.

This was also a pretty fucking huge room if you couldn't tell. One thing was of note: a copy of some video game. Dipper picked it up.

 _"Ed, Edd n Eddy: The Mis-Edventures?_ " He asked.

.GIFfany gasped at that name and swatted the game out of his hands.

"Ow!" He shouted. "What was that for? Be careful, that almost felt so strong it could tkae that hand OFF!"

"That game is really something _very_ bad! Worse than me!" Said .GIFfany. She noticed something on the box and flipped it over. "Oh wow. Even these guys think it might be what they are looking for for a 'Specimen 14.' They say possible."

"So we know there's only thirteen of these cloiwns total!" Cheered Mabel. "Cool! And that McDonalds guy was just 11! We're close!"

Dipper looked around. "Hey though, this is interesting. Let's see what these machines are."

"Just don't touch _that gmae..._ " Remarked .GIFfany, pointing to EENE: TME ( _Ed, Edd n Eddy: The Mis-Edventures_. You should probably remember that acrynym, I'll use it a lot).

Mabel was actually just pressing buttons around randomly, going all "Boop boop!" and stuff.

"Hey, Mabel, wait you could fuck something up!" Shouted Dipper.

He then looked at the monitor and showed that it showed some olive green leo symbol, then what looks like Homer Simpson's head in ASCII, then "Confirmation: Life Span Tied." written in green.

"What did you just do?" Dipper asked.

"I dunno. I think I gave a green sperm the life of some Homer Simpson?"

"We still don't understand that. Uh... .GIFfany, can you jump in that machine?"

She made a face kind of like a two year-old given food they didn't want to eat. Like VegetaBles.

"...I really don't want to."

"But-"

"What if it gives me... uh... video game diarreah?"

"Do you even shit?" Dipper suddenly realized what a really bizarre question that was.

"I could if I was infected by that thing. Again, it sounds like really creepy magic."

"OR it could also give you the power to leave canon and meta-retcon the entire timeline as you wish, so you could go back in time and save us all in case it seems like we're all going to die!" Cheered Mabel.

"...That would be really stupid." Siad .GIFfany.

"...Yeah you're right. Forget I got that idea."

Anyway, Dipper was flipping around with the giant monitors. He first flipped on the orange screen and it just showed some giant spider monster in the cave about to eat someone screaming. Dipper looked bored.

"Must be another specimen." He said.

But then he flipped to the yellow screen (cutting the orange one off, he does this for the other monitors too) and if he was drinking something he would have spat it out like a machine gun: It showed Soos! (And I promise he won't take up the plot a bit like he occasionally does in _Journals of Wisdom, Power, and Courage_ ). The green showed Stan... the blue showed some guy in a completely covering black suit in a weird vortexy dimension with a ray gun fighting demons, the purple showed Melody, and the red... showed the room itself, which Dipper really thought was interesting.

"Oh hey... I'm part of this?" He asked.

But because the camera was recording the room itself it made an infinite mirror thingy and that just caused the whole machine to explode.

"Well then, shit." Said Dipper. "I guess we're leaving that and going on-"

The next door was blocked by some spooky vine stuff. Like in _Luigi's Mansion_ when the doors were locked. And also, there was the sound of water dripping.

Suddenly Specimens 4 AND 13 appeared!

"Shoot." Said Mabel.

"Shit." Said Dipper.

"Fuck said Pacifica."

"Boobies!" .GIFfany cheered.

* * *

 **Closing AN:**

I have some _very_ mixed feelings about this chapter. On one hand, it has some things I enjoyed. On the other hand... I kind of boxed myself in with this "make this exactly five chapters..." _then again_ the more I think of it, the more that I feel that - in regards to _SBIG_ , certainly _not_ my "main" fics (which makes a lot of sense seeing the "intentionally badly written" element and everything) - that making myself kind of have to fill-in a sort of vague, indefinite length guideline actually kind of helps the creativity going. And not making it like... I would say, _Housestuck Hurrcain Crconikals_ , where things were planned out a bit more, but only by chapter number so there was just a lot of weird filler. I guess maybe the solution in general is just a vague concept that I kind of work on while I write, and _not_ worrying _too much_ about planning things ahead unless I feel like it would actually fill in those last few chapters. Or... something, I don't know.

Like I said. My feelings about this chapter are mixed.


	4. Ladies Night

**Spooky's Jump Scare M- OH LOOK IT'S BILL CIPHER**

 **Chapter 4: Ladies Night**

 **Beginning AN:**

You could probably tell from the size of the scroll bar alone that I did not have nearly as many ideas for this chapter as I thought I did when writing it...

* * *

So specimens 4 and 13 were standing there with their arms crossed, and they arms were positioned to push up their boobies nicely. But they weree still scary, one of them was a ghost from _The Ring_ and the other was the water monster from _Amiibo_.

"So how do we fight our way out?" Asked Mabel. "I mean this time irt's two monsters and we're not used to that."

"Do you really think we'll tell you?" Asked Specimen 4.

That guy 12 was possessing walked in.

"Hey, I didn't get much of a role last chapter. Can I-"

"Yeah yeah yeah, grab your scythe and let's do this." Said Specimen 13.

"Okay thanks."

"YOU GO GET 'EM AND MAKE ME PROUD FOR POSSSESSING YOU1 :)" Said 12 (the house, again.)

Also the room started flooding up with water.

"In case you didn't realize it," Said Specimen 4, "I'm actually more imporant to the story than you would think. We naked-types tend to get a lot of that."

"...Why are you looking at me?" .GIFfany asked Dipper, who was indeed kind of glaring at her. "I am fully clothed."

"I'm just _suspicious._ " Was all he reeplied with.

So then 13 jumped in to the water and splashed around like that water monster, trying to come at the group. 4 just made a shitload of arms stick from the ground.

"WOW!" Shouted the guy 12 possessed. "And I only have a scythe!"

.GIFfany zapped him because he was also about to use the scythe on Dipper, and suddenly he blinked and looked around.

"Wait a minute... I'm not being possessed by that stupid mansion anymore!"

"...Dammit." Said Specimen 12. "I'll ALSO make you four pay somehow! I lovede possessing that guy! Maybe I can just re-possess him-"

"Hey guy," Said Dipper, "Wanna help us get outta here?"

"Mmmm..." siad the guy. "Sure, I can help-"

Then Specimens 4 and 12 just got angry and just 4 grabbed his scythed and cut him inhalf, 4 eating the top half while 13 atre the bottom half (the bottom half includes the butt and stuff so I imagine it'd be less pleasant to eat - I'M NOT SAYING IO'M THINKING OF CANNIBALISM, JSUT THAT I'M "IMAGINING," 4 did the work of actually killing the guy and I headcanon she has more ego so she'd get the "tasrtier" (I'D IMAGINE!) half that's characrers development.)

"Shit."" Said Dipper.

Then Specimen 13's hand and one of the attack arms from 4 suddenly reached out and grabbed out Dipper's back and he kind of paniced being grabbed from two directions. He flailed around running and splatshing along the water, and actually it would be kinda funny if it wasn't life or death. Then he was pulled down.

"Dipper is under water now!" Shouted Mabel. "If we don't do something, he might drown or be eaten-"

Pacifica was already below the water.

* * *

Anyway, under the water was pretty much the same thing as the normal room, just with some water over it. It's not like that episode of _Courage_ where the water was a portal to a new room.

"Ah. I see that some little whales are here for me to eat." Said Specimen 13. You know she's badass because she' called Pacifica a whale as an insult and not something cliche like "little fishie" becuase 13 eats whales, it's more realistic that way.

Specimen 4 crossed her arms and thought. _I'm jealous of you you can breathe and talk under water and I cant'._

Pacifica couldn't read her throughts but sahe came up with a solution from how it seemed like 4 wasn't talking. Anyway, she thought about maybe trying to make 4 come up for air, so she punched the ghostl y-specimen in the stomach and that made her gasp out for bubbles.

So 4 lept up and since Dipper was only held by 13 now he was able to wrestle free and he fought back and break out. He gasped for air and went "Okay now I'm actualyl kind of eh about naked women..."

.GIFFany went "I'm the only one with superpowers, I'll fight them." And began undressing like those fighters from movies, just so that she can dive under water. (She didn't pack a swimsuit when she leeched 4's magic).

Then Dipper went "Okay now I'm not iun to women anymore."

Mabel frowned.

"I's just a joke I still like Pacifica."

"Okay yay." Said Mabel.

"WAIT I DIND'T MEAN TO SAY THAT-"

Pacifica was still under water, so she didn't hear that.

But then she resurfaced, and Dipper broke free from 13's grasp.

"You know I'm really going to kill you, I eat people and stuff." Said 13.

"Hey yeah, eating's my thing." Said 4.

"We'll just split them like we split hat guy with the scythe."

"Oh."

"You're kind of dumb, aren't you?" 13 asked.

"I'm not dumb! I'm just greedy. It's also poetic because greed is one of the seven deadly sins, while stupidity isn't."

.GIFfany sighed. "You know what? I think I should be the one to fight them. I mean, I leeched 4's power before."

4 and 13 both laughed.

"You're not scary though." Said 4. "You're horror of a kid's show. We're horror of like old teens to adult."

.GIFfany stomped her foot angrilly, and I'd like to emphasize that she still removed her clothes for combat and was only covered by like the water reflecting light or splashes or something and her naked butt was pretty big and sexy. "No, I'm now horror of a _fan fiction_ of a kid's show! Actually wait, that makes you horror of fan fiction of an adult! But fans tend to make more horror with kids shows! I mean, there's... Mario?"

"What about Sonic?"

"I see you must know about my brother."

They would have asked "What brother" but then she rudely just gripped them both and suplexed them somehow. (I don't know, I've always sucked at fight scenes.) Both of the ghostly ladies were thrown in the water.

* * *

Meanwhile, Specimen 9 was fighting off Bill still while they and Spooky were watching this on monitors.

"Hey that looks like fun." Said 9, as Bill just punched him with a flaming fist. "I wanna join."

"Urgh..." Said Spooky. "Didn't you have a form that was more badass?"

"DON'T GIVE HIM THAT IDEA!" Shouted Bill.

"Um... yeah, like this big naked red guy." Said 9.

"I thought that McDonalds bull demon was already your big naked red guy."

"That was a Satan-ish devil made of meat. I'm more like a skinless human without the Satan-bull-animal butcher theme. If anything I'm implied to be World War II themed in a way, it's kind of cool how we're all like different themes. It's diversity. How diverse ae you?"

"Oh, welll..."

Bill showed Specimen 9 an album of him standing with his Henchmaniacs, posing at the beach. Except because tey were weird demons, the beach's water was made of mud and the sand was this grainy chlorophyll (I'm inspired by _Dwarf Fortress_ making things random). Bill was giving Keyhold bunny ears because he's a dick.

Later Bill got offended. "Hey WAIT A MINTUE1 wWe're supposed to be FIGHTING! Not me showing you vacation pics!"

"What other pics do you have?" 9 snatched his wallet with 9's foot and then he thumbed through them "Are there embarassing baby photos?"

"Um no, actually with my backstory of this fan fic series I'm really technically three different bei- NEVERMIND THAT! GIVE THAT BACK1"

"Keep away!"

Then 9 threw it to Specimen 3, and 3 laughed as he threw it to 2, who threw it to 8.

"THAT'S NOT FUNNY! GR..."

He then shot a bunch of fire out and then he grabbed his wallet back.

"THERE!"

None of the Specimens were killed because they were touch. Anyway, 9 laughed.

"Yeah, I guess I should enter my stronger form. Let's see now... **TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO TAKE THE DEAD TO...** "

He kept saying that over and over against but obviously I don't want to write all that shit out. fuck that.

* * *

back to the main guys, the mansion sudenly started rumbling as .GIFfany was kind of fighting around the other two specimen.

"What's that?" Asked Dipper.

.GIFfany shrugged by getting more in to battle. Oh, right, I should explain more about where her clothes actually were. To avoid Them getting wet (see it's plot and not just cheap fanservice) she took them all off and placed them on one of those laundry thingies, a string she brought with her that she tied to two of the walls. The rumbling continued as she began wrestling Specimens 4 and 12 (I'm sorry I meant 13, 12 is a house hahaha), and then they wrestled until reaching this special room with a mud pit.

"Okay! It's three-woman naked mud wrestling time!"

"CAN I JOIN?" Asked Specimen 9, as he broke through the walls.

Naturally everyone just looked at him really confused. Especially now that he was in his "boss form" and looked a bit different.

Dipper actually asked the 'breaking question.' "Who are you?"

"It's me, that red guy that foughtt Bill! This is actually my more powerful form!"

"You're even _more powerful now?_ " Groaned Pacifica. Oh yeah she came out of the water. Otherwise she'd drown LOL. "How annoying!"

"Yeah and again, can I like join that mud fight? That looks hot."

Truth be told the trio had since, .GIFfany was like shoving 4 and 13 all over the mud and it soon got all around their bodies but their faces and stuff. It was like, really hot looking and all, just these tiny mud-bikini things that didn't even cover them like you could see their inappropriates sticking out and peeking through if this wasn't already censored. If you want this uncensored you're free to visit my exclusive poages. There's also a LOT of never-before-seen fan fics of like, my Rip Van Winkle X Mom from _Binding of Isaac_ stuff.

"So yes or no?" 9 asked.

"Um... are you gonna fight on my side?" Asked .GIFfany.

9 shrugged. "I guess. These other specimen are my roommates and/ _but_ I don't really like them very much. :/"

"HEY NO!" Cried out 4. "He's OP!"

"But I am outnumbered." .GIFfany defended.

"Also, 4, you keep stealing my cable." Said 9.

So then 9 lept on and Dipper honestly rolled his eyes.

"Let's just leave I'm getting tired of this mansion and we're so close to the end anyway."

But then a giant shadow hand blocked their way! It was 4, and she was gasping and panting as she shoved .GIFfany and Specimen 9 off of her!

"Not so fast!" She said. "Did you really think this chapter would be so short?"

"Well," repliued Dipper, "chapter 12 in _Hecksing Ulumate Crconikals_ was-"

 **"DIE!"** She reached forth and went a lot closer to Dipper!

And she actually ended up clawing him, causing a large gash through his chest and stuff like in those action series when they get hurt like that!

But thankfully, Pacifica was there to go through the water and use the axe again, fending her off. 4 just went "Screw it, I'm defending my right to steal this guy's cable when HE SHOULD BE DEAD!"

9 just said "Um, you're a ghost, no YOU'RE supposed to be dead!"

Pacifica rolled her eyes now let's focus on her.

"Okay, Dipper, Mabel," she sayd," you're badasses that's why my dad asked for you in the first place. Why aren't you being more active?"

This was finally when they realized how badly they were fucking up. Eventually they both put their heads down and, like, sighed.

"...Because I was too focused on having a crush on you." Said Dipper. "Anmd no, I'm not gonna play the 'tsundere will they or won't they' card like I did with Wendy for like a whole fucking season. I got a bit of a crush on you after I found out that you're not just completely a jerk anti-Mabel and could be a bit of a friend. There, I said it. I spent the whole adventure being distracted by romance instead of being an ass-kicker."

Mabel sighed. "While we're confessing,.. I guess I was also trying to shove the two of you togehter."

"We were both being real Finns here." Said Dipper. "That's the TLDR."

"First, nobody says TLDY anymore." Said Pacifica. "Second, who's Finn? Third, okay, I understand now... I get it. I take your apoology but honstly you don't have to. We're kids. It's normal to try to find something to distract you from reality if it seems horrible."

"Finn is from _Adventure Time_ he had this period where he'd obsess more over like hitting on Bubblegum or Flame than whatever monsters was right in front of him." Mabel explained. "I kind of stopped watching the show around there."

So then this "Why the fuck are they talking now..." whole thing distracted 13 (that's why she didn't attack, I explained 4 already) long enough for .GIFfany to tackle her and start with wet, sweaty, muddly wrestling. .GIFfany told them "Go on without me! You'll get to the end!" And to just end this chapter the trio went on forth.

"HA HA!" shouted Bill. "NOT SO FAST! Since 9 is distracted by that cat fight, I'm gonna now finally be available to kick your asses!"

But Dipper and Mabel, not just Pacifica, entered fighting stances!

"BRING IT!" Shouted Mabel like they do in _Guffen Lagann_. "Now we're FOCUSED!"

Pacifica just threw the axe at Bill and it THONKEd off of him and he was like "Oh yeah, without the rift and just like a physical form and kind of bounded by this mansion... I'm not _as_ powerful so that kind of hurt. LET'S SEE WHAT ELSE YOU GOT!"

Then Dipper and Mabel did some cool twin-teamup thing! They charged after him, and both of them went up to flip-kick him-

And then he whipped this Bill energy club thing out of nowhere and whacked both of them.

"Hahahahahaha, did you really just think that I would stand there doing nothing? You must watch too much anime where they show off the good guy's new move but don't actually care about the plot."

"What is he talking about?" Asked Dipper.

"Or saturday morning cartoons like the 60's Spiderman that says 'YOUR GETTING SHIT FOR CHRISTMAS!'"

"Oh..."

"It's gonna take more effort to take me down! On the othr hand, I'll need a lkot less effort to kill you, because you know, you're made of that tasty fleshy stuff that rots and all that crap."

Bill fired beams but then Dipper got an idea, so Mabel grabbed like this random decorative suit of armor's sword and used the sword to reflect the beam back at him! And it actually shot him flying back!

"Ow! That hurt! Actually, a lot! I think I'm even infected or something! Urgh, I should have learned from all those video games you made that making myself weak to my own blasts was a really stupid idea! I'm leaving to recover!"

"WE ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING!" cheered Dipper, as he lept in the air and gave Mabel a hihg-five.

"What do you mean we?" Asked Pacifica. "I mean, you both did a team attacfk, but Mabel's solo-sword actually got Bill to back off."

"Well, I tried an attack." Said Dipper.

"Okay." Answered Pacifica.

So then they just went through and broke the wood around the final door of Room 999, and opened the door and were greeted with a bright light that they walked in to like all those cliches "what's inside this is rrally fucking bright..." movie thingies...

* * *

 **In Memorium of Guy Specimen 12 Possessed**

 **(Pretend that there's a black and white picture of that guy. That slowly faded in from black and is now fading out to black.)**

* * *

 **Closing AN:**

One chapter left! Hype! Not for the finale so much as me getting back to _Journals_! Because I really want to get back there!

By the way, I went back and made two tiny changes to _Journals of Wisdom, Power, and Courage_. (I think this is also technically the first time I've really touched that since putting it on hiatus for this story...) One is that there's a new "foreshadowing" (if you know _Gurren Lagann_ , it's actually a reference to how it opens up with what looks like a "flash foreward," but then by the time the story "should" be there it doesn't match up at all - it just shows how different the plot's planning became) scene at the very beginning. The other is that I extended the title of chapter 4, because I only wanted maybe chapters 5 and 10 (the two "season"/"arc" finales) to have short titles and 4's... kind of struck me as sticking out like a sore thumb. So now 4 went from having the second-shortest title (it was originally just "Soos in Giffany Land" [sic]) to having the longest _so far._ This is not to say that I am actively trying to top chapter length. I might come up with a name longer than chapter 4's. I might not.

So anyway, tomorrow I'll get to both chapter 5 _and_ I will work on some kind of bad MS Paint "promotional image" for the Second Half of _Journals_. Believe me, all this time putting it on hiatus actually kind of helped me gather some thoughts and plans together so that the Second Half won't feel as... _scattered_ (for lack of a better term) compared to the First Half, especially the first chapter when the story there was planned to go in a different direction.


	5. The Wonderful 1001 Rooms

**Spooky's Jump Scare M- OH LOOK IT'S BILL CIPHER**

 **Chapter 5: The Wonderful 1001 Rooms**

 **Beginning AN:**

Despite being a finale, I don't really have any thing to say other than... starting a day after the first day you could be reading this, I'm probably going to be like knee-deep in _Journals_. So yes!

* * *

And so, Dipper, Mabel, and Pacifica were... outside?

No actually, they were on the roof. (Which is technically outside.) Sigh, what a cliche. Something's set in a house, go to the roof for the final battle. Kind of like what _Luigi's Mansion_ SORTA? did, but then again there was the sequel where the final boss took place in a completely different dimension. Anyway, Spooky was floating there and she looked a little annoyed.

"Normally I would try to find something to do... or, like, now that I remember Specimen 9, I would have sent you to fight that asshole _for good_ and see if maybe one of you will kill another or something. But Specimen 9's taken so... fuck it. It's been a while since I killed a person up close. I'm gonna try fighting you. Now, for all those times I said 'beat this and I'll let you go,' ACTUALLY beat me and you can get out just fine. :/"

so they got in to fighting stances! Hell, it was like some final battle energy thingy, so like Dipper was glowing green, PAciifica blue, and Mabel a different hue of green. Keep rading this chapter and that MIGHT answer your question depending on some other things you read, heh heh.

"We're ready now!" Shouted MAbel. "I've had enough of this stupid fucking mansion!"

So the kids all charged on forth like _Braveheard_ , except maybe not because I don't know anything about that movie except it has some screaming guy from _Epic Rap Battles of History_ in it with a weird birth condiction that makes half of his body blue. That sounds like a cool mutation. But anyway, Spooky just floated there as all of their attacks went right through her and she brought out a machette.

"I'm a ghot." She said. "Did you really think you could hurt me?"

"Uh... SILVER MIRROR!" Shouted Dipper, as he had one.

He used it in NMM so it didn't come out of nowhere. That's a case of canon foreshadowing soemthing. Anyawy, he used it like a net and that scooped her up. She dropped her machette.

"That was easy!" He said like this was fucking EEasy Button. (It's Staples it's an American thing, and maybe a Canadian thing.)

Mabel waltzed over to the edge of the roof and saw out of those fire-exit thingies leading down, and she took a step down there and was about to but then she hit an invisible wall.

"Dammit!" She said. "We can't just break out of here!"

"Yeah Spooky where't he exit?" Dipper asked the mirror.

"HAHAHA! I lied. About ALL of the 'beat this and you'll leave.' Even when I said 'REALLY!' I want you all to stay here, suffer, and either become specimens or part of a ghost army to rule the world!"

Bill floated to the roof.

"hey, I heard that I'm not getting out. Is that right?"

"Yep!" Said Spooky, still from the mirror.

"Oh, okay. Well, it's time for me to go completely fucking nuts and kill everybody I guess!"

Then he turned bigger and red and started firing lasers.

"HAHAHAHA I knew you would get pissed. But what would you do? Kill a ghost? You can't kill a ghost! Didn't you play _Super Mario 64_ that's what they say all the time. And then when you killed (wait what?) them all and fight the big one, he sounds like a Thwomp for some reason."

"'He?' Actually I think the boos are chicks." Said Dipper. "In _Mario Galaxy_ , if you're Boo Mario, they fall in love with him, so their women or gay or something, and in _Bowser's Inside Story_ , the Boos all have that 'female character talk sound.'

"Also, Spooky I can exersice you."

"I will say right now that I am not the only one keeping this barrier up! It's actually something hidden deep within the bowels of this place. So killing me won't do anything!"

Dipper sighed. "I _Really_ don't want to negotiate with you, but if I have to... let's use DIPOLOMACY!"

"Let me out of this mirror and we can talk."

"Hell no. Not unless you show signs of improving. Now, where in your life did you go wrong? You're a twelve-year ghost, so I assume that you went wrong really early."

"...Kind of." She sighed and leaned against the mirror. "You see... all I wanted was to scare people... then I used a fireworks display... I scared a guy with PTSD... he shot me and, well... that death was tragicc enough to be ghost-material. So now I'm here."

"Oh."

"Still obsessed with scaring people. Still the same twelve year-old I was that day..."

"Was it a long time?"

"Oh yeah. Long enough to get all those monsters you saw there." She sighed. "I think it's finally rime to end this cycle. I should let you go."

She got out a cell phone and called people.

"Hey? GL Labs? Let Test Explorer Project Red Shirt members 618, 619, and 620 out. alter the barrioer."

Some purple shit wooshed around the whole mansion.

"There you go." She said. "You're free to leave now. I guess you can excersize me... maybe ghosts here work in that they need to be in the afterlife to keep mentally growing..."

Dipper smiled a bit, while Pacifica and Mabel gathered around the mirror.

"No, you felt like you grew a bit there. I guess I could give you a second chance. But the only way to free a ghost from the mirror is to break it, so..."

He placed it on the ground and stopped on it, kind of like in _run:gifocalypse_ chapter 12 (this isn't a spoiler because I didn't tell you what it was he broke). Spooky floated out. Dipper offered a hand to her. His right hand.

"Maybe we can even be weird ghost-friends or something?" He asked.

"Yeah..."

Instead of getting a hand shake, there was a SHING! And suddenly Spooky had another machette in her hands.

"I ALWAYS CARRY A BACKUP! ALSO, I WOULD SAY YOU JUST GOT TROLLED, BUT THAT'S ANOTHER GHOST GIRL'S THING AND I REALLY FUCKING HATE HER! (Her name is Carrie...)"

Dipper looked and his right arm just kind of fell off and started bleeding everywhere.

Even Bill stopped his temper tantrum and looked at that like "WOah." He didn't say it, he thought it.

Dipper used his vest as a quick bandage of that, and Mabel got pretty fucking pissed off at that.

"AUGH!" She shouted. "HOW DARE YOU!"

"What are you gonna do about it?" Spooky laughed. "You just got trolled- DAMMIT, CARRIE!"

then Mabl grabbed Dipper over and lifted him up, and ran to the barrier.

"I'm gonna PUNCH MY WAY OUT!"

"AH HAHAHAHA!"

Mabel kept punching at the barrier, and did this a lot (I'm sorry I don't know how to make a dramatic doment like this drag on a bit, it's supposed to be dragging on because it's Dipper's life at line he's kind of dying of blood loss and everything) until for one punch she started glowing that green and then her eyes became spiral.

"No... I will... _GET OUT!_ "

And then on that punch the whole thing broke in to pieces and shattered. Spooky looked shocked.

"No... how?"

"Hey boss!" Someone cell phoned her. "Um that barrier was also keeping the mansion up and stable. With it down the mansion will just..."

It tipped and fell over, and everyone fell on the grass below safetly.

"Wait no! I'm outside of hte house I chose to possess! So..." Said Spooky, then she started getting a heart attack (read _Journals of Wisdom, Power, and Courage_ it has the same rules).

Mabel also turned around and Spooky saw that her eyes were now the spirals, which she didn't see before. Then it hiot her.

"...It's that FUCKING SPIRAL ENERGY!" then she collapsed from the hear attakc and died, and another ghost of her rose from that body and floated off to heavn while she just glared at them, flipping them off. (Don't worry the people up there are gonna be like "Fuck no you're going to hell" and then drop her there, it's like those things where they DO go to Heaven just to be judged there.)

"Woo! We're out!" Cheered Mabel. She then went "Uh oh..." as the Specimens (except 4, 13, and 9) all gathered out too. Yes, even 12, the giant mansion.

"HEY WE'RE ALL FREE TOO! YAY!" Cheered the Specimens, as they began running off.

Mabel shrugged. "Well... what if most of them we're _bad_ , just misunderstood?"

"Nah we're fucking bad." Said Specimen 3. "Except that worm-pet thingy that was not Specimen 10. Anyway, we're gonna wreck things up."

By the way, if you're wondering about 1, the cutouts were like just hopping along the ground and stuff.

A car drove over to them, and Stan and Sos stepped out.

"Kids what happened?" Stan said. "I heard a house falld own and that Northwest guy, I forgot his name, but that you were on some kind of 'mission' thingy over here?"

"We got attacked by a ghost but now we're out."

Soos looked at Dipper's missin arm.

"Oh dude I gotta patch you up!" He said. "Don't worry, I can fix that _and_ I think I can, like, 3D Print some sort of prosthetic to replace that."

Soos basically took Dipper to the hospital in his truck. (Actually he didn't notice, but he just stole Stan's card and he'd have to walk now. Oops.)

"Hey Grunkle Stan," Said Mabel, "What's Spiral Power?"

"I heard that before but I have no idea what it means. Basically, if you're hot blooded and shout a lot, you can make yourself glow gren or something."

"Pshh! That sounds useless!"

.GIFfany, Specimen 4, and Specimen 13 all rushed out and jumped on the car that Soos had while he was driving Dipperr to his house to fix up his injured arm. They were still in sexy mud costuems.

"AHHHH!" Shouted Soos. ".GIFfany! What are you-"

"No time to explain, this physical form is disintegrating! I'll have to go back to the arcade and recover! now Soos, you probably won't like hearing this but Mabel and I made this deal-"

"YOU'RE STILL TRYING TO KILL US!" Shouted Specimen 4, who punched her off of the truck. "WE HAVE BUSINESS TO SETTLE! DEAL WITH THIS GUY IF YOU EVEN FUCKING SURVIVE!"

But then also .GIFfany dissolved, or her phyiscal form did and she just transferred herself back to _Fight Fighters_.

"Oh shoot," said Dipper, almost kind of trying not to pass outf rom blood loss. "Soos, are we going to die?"

"Not yet dude! I've got you-"

Specimen 4 got greedy again and pushed Specimen 13 off, then laughed.

"HAHAHA! I CAN EAT YOU TWO ALL FOR MYSELF!" She shouted, as she spawned a bunch of bloody arms and tried to attack Stan's car thingy (I honestly forgot what it lookd like ):).

But then some black blur dashed off and tackled her to the side!

"WOW! Who was that?" Asked Dipper.

"I dunno, but whoever that was, you should probably consider her a hero and definitely don't like, treat her like the main antagonist or anything."

* * *

Specimen 9 was wondering through the ruins of the mansion.

"Hey! GL Labs!" He said. "Bill just left and left me with the ladies, but... do you know where that triangle guy went?"

He fell asleep as part of like, Bill's dream magic.

In the Mindscape, he woke to see Bill there, who sighed.

"The magic of that place was keeping me in the physical form, but with the barrier gone, I can only be in the dream place!" Said Bill.

"Huh?" Asked 9.

"Just know that I can't kill shitanymore. In the real world."

Bill got an idea.

"BUUUUT... if I can get to the physical realm with something YOU DO, then I can kick your ass AND get to do Weirdmageddon!"

"Oh cool! Soo if I can pull some stuff off, I'll be able to finally fight you off for good!"

"Sound like a deal?" Bill's hand glew on fire.

"DEAL!"

They shook and 9 woke up.

"Hrm... now what? I guess I can start by finishing that project that makes cheap Bishonen clones of people..."

In the rubble, Gideon was listening to this.

"Hrm..." he said, "I could steal that, finish up the last touches, and maybe steal all the credit for that and have a Bill clone or something in the real world..."

Yeah this is gonna be another retcon thingy, like in _Housestuck Hurrcain Crconikals_ where the roboarm from _Hecksing Ulumate Crconikals_ turned out to also be made in part by Kanaya and Equius. It's a sign that I'm just lazy on idea of how to link stories (see, I'm pointing out my flaws I don't have to fix them... didn't I already say this?)

* * *

Oh yeah, actually, Pacifica was with Mabel and stuff too.

"So now that that's over with, how do you feel about Dipper?" Mabel asked. "It's appropriate to ask about shipping because none of us are getting killed."

"Well, I uh..." Pacifica looked over and blushed. " _Maybe_ it'll work out..."

"Ha! The only thing getting in the way of your relationship would be if it turned out you were brother and sister. But even then, I could be sisters with you and that would actually be pretty cool. Kind of weird nhow I went from hating you to not hating the thought of us being cute sisters together..."

"No offense, but I don't think I'm related to you too. That would be a dumb plot twit."

They both laughed off.

"Yeah, that would be a crappy out of nowhere writing." Said Mabel.

* * *

Okay, now we're out in the forest a bit. We saw Specimen 4 as she recovered from being pushed off...

"Hey!" She said to her attacker, "Who are you for trying to hurt my like that?"

The camera zoomed up and it was Nzyvo! In Lgananzan whatever! Nzyvo's from _The Journals of Wisdom, Power, and Courage_ , and this will all make sense later (especially if you read chapters 1-5 of _Journals_ first). Anyway, Nzyvo looked like she had a maniac grin and she folded her arms.

"Hey. I think that Dipper guy's part of a 'prophecy,' and I don't want you to hurt him! He's gonna be my subject..."

She reached in her edgy sweater and got out Journal 2.

"Tomorrow, on his elevated 13th birthday!"

Yeah, in case you think "What is this an AU?" No, it's a direct prequel. That's the plot twist of this. This is actually a prequel to _Journals of Wisdom, Power, and Courage_. Ha, just because it takes place "replacing" NMM which is after "Gift Shop of Horrors," and Giftshop of Horrors was before NMM doesn't mean that the "Replace" means that this fic TOOK PLACE BY THAT EPISODE CHRONOLOGICALLY! The order goes, "Soos and the Real Girl," "Little Gift Sop of Horrors," no other canon episodes, but then this, and then _Journals_.

Anyway HYPE FOR THE ENXT PART!

* * *

 **Closing AN:**

Probably not the best of endings... then again, I _did_ like the idea of setting up 'Hey, Spiral Power exists in this fic!' By having Mabel use it to do something that was impossible in the original game (uh, spoilers, but that should have been obvious considering this fic's nature): actually escaping the mansion. If anything, it was like this story became more about connecting itself to _Journals_ than... well, the story proper.

(Don't try to be clever and go "But Fan, technically if you turn off the game and walk away, that's 'escaping the mansion' and it's meta!" I'm pretty sure it's not one of those games. And I say 'those games' that way because there's already a bunch of games that try to pull off the 'best ending is where you never play it'-type thing. It's getting kind of old, in my opinion.)

Originally there was going to be a "Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there" running gag that culminated with this chapter being called "Like a Good Neighbor." But a lot of things changed as... well, I just _forgot_ this fic's idea and put it to rest.

 **Final Thoughts:**

This story was a bit more fun to work on than I was thinking when I put my work on this on a small hiatus as I continued _Journals_ from chapters 3-5. Well, now that it's over, I wonder if I'll become really nostalgic towards it and wish I expanded it a little... or just kind of leave it to be forgotten like _Axe Effect: Giffillions_.

...I don't really have that much else to say here. Oh yeah, Specimens 4 and 9 were also going to have bigger roles in this fic, but again... I couldn't really think of anything for them.

 **THE END.**

* * *

The Second Half (well, only by chapter count, each chapter is planned to be really long, so it's more like the "Last Four Fifths" or something) is coming.

And it will have:

 **BIGGER MECHA!**

"I call this... JOVIAN SHACKAN LAGANN!"

 **MORE EXPLOSIONS!**

"I think Michael Bay built these or something."

 **MORE ELECTIONS!**

"er a um, I promise to make the minimum wage a million dollars! er a um, THAT WAY WE CAN ALL BE FUCKING RICH!"

 **MORE ERECTIONS!**

"Soooooos... it's just us... you know what that means..."

 **GRAVITY FALLS IN...** _ **AUTUMN!**_

"These 'falling leafs' really fuck up my leaf costumes... I have to constantly keep them watered."

 _ **THE JOURNALS OF WISDOM, POWER, AND COURAGE:**_ **SECOND HALF. POSSIBLY COMING REALLY SOON, BECAUSE I'M PROBABLY GONNA JUMP ON THIS AND WRITE REALLY ENTHUSIASTICALLY. PUTTING THAT ON HIATUS WAS A MISTAKE. NO, REALLY.**

Do the impossible. See the invisible. Row row, fight the power.


End file.
